Oh Excedrin, I want to hate this commercial but the truth is - far too many women act this way!!  

As soon as this lady says, 'Not gonna happen' my immediate response (out loud) was WHY NOT??? 

First off, you're married (or partnered or whatever) - GET SOME and get it often!! 

Ladies, ladies - c'mon now. If this is you, you need to STOP. 

Stop buying into the lie that sex is:
  1. For special occasions (do it twice on special occasions!)
  2. Boring (you're doing it wrong)
  3. A chore (how can you compare scrubbing toilets to sex, it's sex!!)
  4. A treat or reward for your man (your lady parts are not like doggie treats for good behavior ya know)
You are your dude's outlet for sex, romance, and intimacy. He chose YOU! You chose HIM! You are for each other and physical connection is vital to the good of your relationship.

I get it that there are times you just don't feel like it, but it shouldn't be the norm.

If this is you, it's time to think about why. 

Are you really too tired?
Are you pissed off about something he did recently that you're holding in?
Are you guys basically living like roommates who sleep in the same bed?
Are you harboring resentment from past issues?
Do you have medical issues that you've been putting on the back burner? 

Whatever it is, you need the Sort, Simplify, Love process.
  1. Sort - Think about all the excuses you've told him (and yourself) to get out of sex. Write them down so you can see how many excuses there are OR the amount of times you turn down his advance. The amount may shock you. 
  2. Simplify - Look over your list. Is there a common thread to the excuses you're giving? Get very specific on 'why' you aren't feelin the mojo. If you're too tired (for example), why? Are you not getting enough sleep? Are you letting the t.v. suck the energy out of you? Are the kids wearing you out? Is work your new lover?
  3. Love - Take at least one step to get back on the saddle (wink, wink). Find all the ways you can LOVE it. Sooooo many resources are available out there to spark it up. Books, blogs, friends, magazines  - use them! 

The headache excuse was played out in the 50's. Some excuses can be funny but give them often enough and they are relationship killers. In the comments below, tell me one of the best (or worst) excuse you've given for getting out of sex. THEN tell me an idea for making hanky-panky a priority in your life.  Go!

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